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The Mask I Didn’t Know I Was Wearing
People often tell survivors, “You’re so strong.” What they don’t see… is the performance. I became very good at smiling. Very good at working hard. Very good at taking care of everyone else. Looking back now… I wonder if that’s when I started believing my value came from what I could carry. The heavier the…
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I Didn’t Know What I Needed Anymore
Somewhere along the way, I stopped checking in with myself. I knew what everyone else needed. I knew how to anticipate moods, solve problems, and keep things moving. I knew how to be dependable. I knew how to be strong. What I didn’t know anymore was this: What did I need? The question felt unfamiliar.…
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Admitting I Needed Help
For a long time, I believed I could carry everything on my own. I thought strength meant: So that’s what I did. Even when I was emotionally exhausted.Even when I was disconnected from myself.Even when I was barely holding things together beneath the surface. I kept going. By this point, the emotional heaviness had become…
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The Cracks Were Starting to Show
For a long time, I believed I could keep holding everything together. If I stayed busy enough…strong enough…quiet enough… maybe no one would notice how much I was struggling inside. But eventually, the cracks started to show. Not all at once. Just in small moments that became harder and harder to hide from myself. I…
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The Person I Couldn’t Recognize Anymore
Somewhere along the way, I stopped recognizing myself. Not all at once. Not in a dramatic, obvious way. It happened slowly—through small moments, quiet compromises, and the gradual exhaustion that comes from constantly trying to hold everything together. I was tired all the time. Not just physically. Emotionally. Mentally. The kind of tired that settles…